I HATE GERMANS

I hate Germans. Germany, as a country, is spectacular. I've never seen a more beautiful country. It saddens me that it has to be inhabited by the most annoying race of people I've ever encountered.

I spent 6 years living in Italy, and have been in Germany since 2007. In that time, I have travelled all over Europe and north Africa and met many many wonderful people from all over...EXCEPT Germany.

Let me list the reasons why:

1. Germans are exceptionally nosey and LOVE to meddle in the business of others over trivial matters. I think spying on their neighbors is the national pass-time. This is the only place I've ever seen where you can get in trouble for using a chainsaw on Sunday, letting your dog out on a balcony, or driving 3 mph over the speed limit (in the middle of no where).

2. They are HORRIBLE drivers. They pride themselves as great drivers, but this is pure nonsense. Driving FAST does not equate to driving WELL. I have never seen a race of people unable to merge into traffic without causing huge traffic jams. They simply can't do it! Drive on any autobahn long enough and you'll eventually encounter a "stau" caused by nothing more than 3 lanes merging into two. It's retarded and exacerbated by their aggressively fast driving. Also, they try to treat driving like it's some sort of art-form or like flying: they have so many stupid laws and regulations.....you'd think you were going on an international flight plan instead of on a high-way.

3. German food SUCKS. Let me sum up a typical German meal: pork and potatoes. Enjoy. Granted, they have dozens of ways to prepare their pork and potatoes, but at the end of the day, a fried pork-chop is all you are having. If there weren't millions of Sicilians and folks from Naples living in Germany, they wouldn't have ANY good restaurants.

4. The German language makes me want to vomit. It must be the worst sounding language in the world. Every conversation sounds like an interogation. I'd rather listen to someone's nails being scratched on a chalk-board than listen to the German language.

5. Old German women do stupid things to their hair. Germany is the only place I have EVER seen anyone, other than a rock band, color their hair pink, green, purple, or red and think it looks nice or appropriate. I'm not talking about 13 year old girls either...oh no! I'm talking about 50 and 60 year old haus-fraus. It looks ridicuous and these people need to be smacked.

6. Germans love to be miserable. They must, otherwise there is no logical explanation for all fo their ridiculous rules, policies, and laws they have. I wouldn't be surprised if, somewhere in German law, their is a regulation covering the correct way to wipe one's ass. You very likely need a license for it. to obtain the license, you must attend a 6 month school that costs 10,000 euro, and then, after all that, your neighbors have to be able to watch to ensure you don't use more than the bare minimum amount of toilet paper. Ever wonder why the Germans are so perverted and into kinky sex? It's because their daily lives are like living in the book, "1984".

7. Germans always have been and always will be racisits. They absolutley hate foreigners of all walks, but especially Americans. Never mind the fact that Americans living in Germany dump millions of dollars into the local communities where the bases are. Never mind the fact that it was AMERICA, not NATO or the UN, who kept the Russian T-72s out of the Fulda Gap for 60 years. It was also, OUR President Reagan who was responsible for the reunification of East and West Germany. Frankly, I believe that after we kicked their asses in two huge World Wars in the last century and then protected them from the Russians who would have drained Germany for everything it had and forced them to speak Russian, these people should show more respect to America.

Anyways, like I said, Germany is a magnificently beautiful country. Their forrests and mountain ranges are world class and I respect them for their efficiency in managing their natural resources. However, I think the best that Germany ever had to offer were all killed in WWI and WWII. As a result, their gene pool has been tainted and "thinned out" by all the unfit and weak, which has resulted in the mincing, prying, and deceitful race of people currently inhabiting the area between France and Eastern Europe.

I'm leaving Germany soon, but not soon enough. As my time here draws closer to an end, I take satisfaction in knowing that Germans, as a race will never be able to spread beyond their borders, as they did in the first half of the 20th century, because their Army is a joke...a force of conscripts who couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag.

I can't wait to leave this place and pray I never come back.

Angry Dave 16 May 2009, 05:57 - Report