Growing up in China

Arranged marriages

Growing up in China

The way Western China works against its Muslim minority. How things can get better and sometimes how they can get worse with time.

Arranged marriages were common in the past where I come from. Where am I from? It's a small and the growing town of Kashgar. Kashgar is one city of history and culture.

It is famous for its ancient architecture and uniquely built traditional houses. You can see old people sharing a pot of tea while talking about what had happened when they were kids in front of their house. Just like me now.

Coming back an 18 year old young man is suddenly told that he is getting married tomorrow. (You may think why?) He is happy even he does not know the bride. He is going to be a mature person soon. Because he had a dream of being a good, good husband and dad; so, this is how it began.

So they got married. They held a simple wedding ceremony, were only 30 people took part in. First day had been past so quietly. They did not talk. The second day, they started talking. The third day they went out to buy things. Day after day, they fell in love. They had the same dream that is to have the first-child be a boy. A year and half later, God made their dream come true. They had a so cute, so sweet boy-baby. That was the happiest moment of their lives. Even if life was not so comfortable and relaxing, it was an easy to live life.

As time went by, the baby became 7 years old. Time for his school, they did not want to send their kid to school. Then they did not. Instead, they taught him some language skills.

He went to some language training schools. He started learning Uighur, and some other language. Time flies, now he should go to college. But where... He was not allowed to go to college in China. Because he did not go to primary and secondary schools, he had one option to go to college in abroad. Finally, he decided to go Stamford College located in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

He got a school invitation. Now his running for hours to get his passport started... He was happy to get the invitation from school. But his happiness was gone in an hour later. They thought he was not allowed to go to college, because he did not go to school. (Who knows what the reason was?) Run here, run there, 3 months had past. But still no result, then he thought, "What the hell are these hassles for?" he was now sick and tired of asking these stupid people for help. The more he runs the worse result he gets.

Stupid reason number 1, he ran to community center to check if he had committed crime before.

Stupid reason number 2, he ran for county police office to get a signature of authority.

Stupid reason number 3, he went back to the community center to let them see the signature.

Stupid reason number 4, he ran to the police office to fill the form.

Stupid reason number 5, he went to the passport office to fill out another form.

Am I sounding stupid yet?

Stupid reason number 6, he decided to give some money to issue my passport. (Some say if you give them money, everything will be done easily.)

Stupid reason number 7, his parents are so sad about his passport issue. Because no matter how hard they try, it is all useless.

This part of his life is called stupid...

By the end of the day, a year has past. But still no result... His dream has flown away. Now he needs a simple, happy life, he always says life is simple, as long as you don’t come up to ask for their help...


Further reading

Does this article help?

Do you have any comments, updates or questions on this topic? Ask them here: